Wednesday, November 9, 2016


Clean Room #13

Writer: Gail Simone
Artists: Walter Geovani, Quinton Winter 

We start off with a tubby Mr. Tubbins fretting his way through some dark woods. There he finds a meditating Mr. Webber. Tubbins hands Webber a terrifying photo of a child, whose head resembles something that can only be described as coming from the deepest darkest corners of your nightmares. The only thing Webber communicates is that he wonders what that thing did to it’s mothers tits…stay classy Mr. Webber. He then asks Tubbins who else knows about the child. Tubbins replies that the aunt of the disturbing child is Astrid Mueller. Pondering about the child the seemingly handsome Webber turns to reveal half his face, scarred and decomposing. Picture if Two-face took acid and then jumped through a ring of fire into a vertigo title.

After going through a rigorous hygiene routine, Duncan and Killian enter The Clean Room to face an angry Astrid. Turns out she gets super upset when they call her Astrid because they betrayed her. She tells them to get on their knees and tell her about the worst moments of their life, which they say with full disclosure. And of course their punishment is to relive those moments over and over again. Astrid leaves the room as the hateful slurs arise from behind her. She starts to walk away but for some reason changes her mind and demands for the doors to be opened backed up and Killian and Duncan let out. Astrid falls to her knees and asks to be forgiven. What are the signs for bipolar disorder…?Astrid regains her composure and leaves with Acolyte, who is very confused because she’s never seen Astrid apologize. Ironically Astrid tells her to regain her composure, Acolyte succumbs and moves on to the next order of business. In a room four men await, but none are sure why they are there.

Down south in Clearwater, Florida a group of friends are toasting to well, their friendship. Astrid shows up looking for Chloe Pierce. In a rage Chloe tells Astrid she’s been ignoring her calls because Astrid brought nothing but death and misery to her life. I mean she lost her freaking husband because of this lady, I’d ignore those calls too. One of Chloe’s friends, Caleb, ignoring Chloe’s obvious hatred shows the guest some southern hospitality. Detouring from her usual demeanor, Astrid sits down with a beer and tells a story about her friend Anika. Anika was taken by aliens and experimented on just for cruel amusement. The side effects: half her body now resembled a hundred-year-old woman. Annoyed Chloe again asks why Astrid was there. Astrid tells her that she has lost three Rooks and wants Chloe to come be her new Rook and save the world. Chloe needs questions answered about the entities before she can even consider going back. Chloe is told that the entities that are sent here are the outcast of a culture that could possibly be hell itself. In a world with no death penalty the sadists, killers, torturers, and rapists are sent here and allowed to live without supervision. They lived among us for thousands of years bored, waiting for something. Something that Astrid can show Chloe; a baby girl, her niece. Chloe sees nothing wrong with the child until it unleashes its horrid, foul, just terrifying true figure. Then the baby half reappears and ask them if they want to see something funny. She then attempts to make the guard shoot himself. Lucky for him the gun is unloaded. Unlucky for him little evil baby girl lets them know she doesn’t need bullets and blood spurts out from the man. The then little demon (who makes the exorcist look like an angel) turns its head to Chloe and says Phillip says hello. Harsh. We're going to need an old priest, a young priest, and maybe some holy water.

Last but not least I guess, a man who has dressed himself as Astrid in a totally creepy way asks to see her because he’s her number 1 fan.

The Confessional

I’m a little speechless right now which is odd since I spent the whole time reading this book with an array of curse words flowing out my mouth. Not because it was bad because it was a freaking rollercoaster to read! If you like horror, if you like space, if you want some mystery in your life stop what you’re doing and pick this book up. Now I’m just jumping onto the Clean Room bandwagon right now, but they have another fan. One of my biggest pet peeves is being confused about a plot line. The fact that I can jump in at issue thirteen and enjoy it and understand to an extent to what is going on just shows the talent to the writer’s ability to serve a plot line.


Ariel DuPey | Nerd Church Radio 

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